Ladybird Chapter 4, Scene 2

Only a jaded misanthrope, drunk on pessimism, could withhold from praising the gorgeous climate. The Sun oversaw a city with clear skies and cool breeze, its smiling face shining down on the people of Rosewater and giving them just the right amount of heat for a perfect day. A scent of spring leaves and flowers blew along with the wind, released by strategic locations containing air freshening trees as part of a government program to increase happiness.

Atop the Sunflower Apartments building in uptown Rosewater, Nellidae sucked on a sweet, iced fruit pop. She closed her eyes and felt the breeze, astonished by the lack of the plastic scent common to the artifical breezes back home. Dressed in a borrowed tanktop and short jeans, comfortable in the rooftop breeze, she watched Libel and Fleur and the pigeons on the roof, all of which in turn watched her. They all seemed cautious.

The pigeons were especially cautious. They bobbed their heads harmlessly, gallivanting as pigeons did. But in the innermost recesses of their minds, they were wondering what to do about her. She seemed delicious, full of the same coppery goodness they so enjoyed. But at the same time, she seemed dangerous, capable of swiftly killing them all. This was their dilemma.

The pigeons decided to wait. Gather intelligence, conduct recon, size up their opponent. This was the nature of the pigeon. A pigeon only struck when unexpected, and they only struck to kill. A pigeon held a heart full of darkness.

Nellidae sucked on her fruit pop. She removed it briefly from her mouth to speak. “So, what are we doing up here?”

“Something special,” Libel smiled. She thought that the lighting of such a clear, sunny day made Nellidae quite visually dynamic, even if the banana-yellow tanktop with orange straps made her look like she was fresh from a day of high school education.

Fleur thought the roof was positively filthy. Her eyes scanned the surroundings, wincing whenever she caught sight of a pool of oil or a bird dropping. The low parapet was missing bricks. She pulled on her skirt lightly, tapped her feet, resisting the urge to dash for the nearest house depot and purchase all the supplies needed to re-brick and clean the entire rooftop.

Neither made any sudden movements as they beheld the insect girl.

“I think you’re both acting like idiots.” Nellidae said, before putting her fruit pop back in her mouth. Clenching it in her teeth she continued to speak, less intelligibly. “Thanks for the clothes, by the way. I really enjoy looking like a beach slut.”

“Hey,” Libel snapped back, “You rejected every decent outfit I had. All I had left was my vacation clothes.”

“That’s because your idea of decent are sweaters, sweater-vests, vests and turtlenecks! Don’t you just have t-shirts? They have those in this time, right? T-Shirts, you know, with stupid slogans on them that make people laugh? T-Shirts you just fit your head into the hole of and slip on? It’s like you have a closet full of beach clothes and another full of nerd-wear!”

Libel closed her hands into fists and shouted back, “I don’t like t-shirts, they’re plain, shoddy, stupid, they promote slave labor, and if boys stare hard enough they can see your bra under them!”

Nellidae froze. She had never considered that before. How many boys had taken advantage of her this way in high school?

Fleur made an exasperated noise that could only be described as “Le sigh.”

“Anyway, we’ll buy better clothes later. By better clothes, I mean clothes a decent woman wears. Like turtlenecks.” Libel said. Nellidae threw her hands up in frustration. “You’ll get used to them!” Libel added.

“Oui, we have more important matters.” Fleur said. She stepped aside in a servile way, drawing her hands out from behind her back to hand Libel a brown straw basket.

The sight of a straw basket triggered a synaesthetic reaction in Nellidae’s insectile brain, which was now lodged somewhere in her human brain. Or so she thought. The reaction was a mental slide show, first of parks, then park rangers with kind smiles and pepper spray bottles, concluding with happy families sitting around to enjoy a meal.

“We’re going to have a picnic!” Nellidae said, raising her arms in celebration.

Libel cast her eyes around the rooftop. “Yeah! We’ll definitely have a picnic, right here.”

Nellidae deflated, tears of salty copper escaping her eyes.

* * *

“I’m sorry I’m being hard on you Nelly, but this is very important!” Libel said.

Fleur laid out the meal on top of the picnic blanket, one which boasted a rather uninteresting pattern of red and blue squares. The picnic basket lay in the center of the blanket, with the girls in a triangle formation around it. Like a ceremony, they put their hands on the basket, Nellidae’s hands grasping it last. Libel pried the insect girl’s hands from the basket as though she were unworthy to touch it. Meat, milk, bread, and sweets were carefully arrayed by Fleur in plates.

“No, you’re not picking what you eat.” Libel said.

Nellidae thought she felt a blood vessel bursting inside her head.

“What the HELL is your problem today, Libel?”

“Simple,” Libel said, raising her hand to point dramatically towards Nellidae, “Nellidae Cocci, you are a superhero! All superheroes have super powers and they have weaknesses, and I believe yours to be food related!”

The pigeons flew away, startled by Libel’s shouting.

“You’re kidding.” Nellidae’s voice had been drained of life by the relevation.

“Not at all. Insects as a whole have incredibly diverse diets. Spiders, for example, have powerful digestive enzymes which they spit on their food to consume as liquid. You don’t. Some insects are entirely herbivores and have no dietary problems. You aren’t. Some insects can’t even eat at all and have extremely short lifespans. You’re not one of those. So finding out what you can eat is imperative. Here, try this.”

Libel drew a slice of ham thin and fine enough to almost see through, urging Nellidae to take it. Why such a small piece had been handed to her, Nellidae did not understand. Food was food, and this truth being self-evident, Nellidae picked the delicate pork trimming and dropped it just as delicately in her mouth. The meat felt like it would melt it her mouth. A paradise of taste shocked her taste buds, a stark turn from her breakfast of bland sugary cereal.

Moments later, she was not aware of how it had transitioned to her falling prone, unable to move and bleeding from her eyes, ears, nose and mouth. A coppery pool formed beneath her and her insides were burning. Instead of meat, her body seemed to believe it had consumed razor blades and was doing its best to make the blades dance around inside her stomach.

“GAH!”

Libel fiddled with a first-aid kit but was unsure of how the bandages could possibly help in this situation. In her panic, she drew out an anti-venom syringe and stuck it in Nellidae’s back. Nothing happened.

“I’m so sorry Nellidae!” Libel screamed, ripping things from the first-aid kit in a rush while a stream of liquid flowed from her eyes and nose, “I knew you would not be able to eat that but I gave it to you anyway! I just, I just wanted to–”

“Madame, turn her around before she drowns!” Fleur cried, stepping away from the pool of hemolymph.

The pool bubbled, and Libel slipped while tugging on Nellidae, turning her around but falling on top of her in the process. Face and clothes covered with coppery gunk, the bespectacled girl found herself staring down, incredulous, at Nellidae’s typical judgmental face. The ladybird had her arms crossed, dribbles of hemolymph drawing from seemingly every orifice.

“You’re a horrible human being, Libel,” Nellidae said, not a bit of strength drained from her voice.

“I know!” Libel shouted, collapsing into tears on Nellidae’s chest.

* * *

They spent the afternoon, this time with Nellidae’s consent, testing out Nellidae’s tolerance to certain foods.

Libel felt that this was an important first step for Nellidae’s well-being outside of her time. First they needed to plan how Nellidae would lead a practical, dignified human life despite her strange new powers, and the most important thing to begin with was food. As Libel suspected and then discovered, meat caused a terrible reaction in Nellidae’s body. What led her to believe this in the first place, she never said, but it was obvious now that Nellidae would never enjoy another steak.

“Don’t worry, I’ll have Fleur buy some soy products, including a tofurkey in Thanksgiving!” Libel said, though this was not too comforting for the gloomy Ladybird.

Next on the list was dairy. Nellidae consumed cheese in small portions and found it to be palatable. Larger quantities caused her to cough them back up. When Fleur fed her a large glass of milk, Nellidae had a strange reaction – her eyes bled as before and she writhed on the ground in pain. But this time her face turned red, as though there was a lot of pressure behind the bleeding. Nellidae grit her teeth, her body stiffening and her insides burning again.

Pop!

Nellidae’s eyes flew out of their sockets and over the parapet. She collapsed, twitching one leg.

Libel’s face turned chalk white in an instant.

“Ah! It was spoiled!” Fleur cried, looking at the expiration date on the milk carton. Precisely one hour past due. She raised a large bread knife from beneath her apron and held it against her stomach, contemplating ritualistic maid disembowelment for her failure until Nellidae raised an arm to stop her.

“I’m alive,” She mumbled, but this did nothing to stop Libel from throwing herself on the ground and crying, screaming and gagging on vomit at the sight of Nellidae without eyes. Moments later, they were back around the picnic basket, Nellidae sporting a pair of green eyes in place of the ones before. Nellidae could apparently heal certain injuries rather fast, but upon Fleur’s suggestion that they test to see what she could regenerate, both Libel and Nellidae protested.

A piece of bread, easily and happily munched on by Nellidae, had no ill effect. Fruits and vegetables were not suspected to be harmful, but she nonetheless tasted some to prove their efficacy. Nellidae’s buggy body brimmed with energy after a bite from an apple and a taste of spinach and she felt like all of her past pains had gone.

Her skin seemed almost to glow. She beamed, overwhelmed with ecstasy. It was like being tickled softly by a lover in bed – or so Nellidae thought, having never partaken in said activity.

“Alright,” Libel finally said, holding a notebook for Nellidae to see. “I’ve written up a little Ladybird Food Pyramid now.” She sighed, tugging on the neckhole of her shirt and expecting steam. “This has been too stressful for me, but at least you’re okay.”

“Stressful? Your eyeballs didn’t fall out.” Nellidae retorted.

“Mine don’t grow back,” Libel said, adjusting her glasses. “Come to think of it, I have one more thing I need to check.”

Libel put her notepad down on her lap, jotting something down with one hand while reaching into her pocket with the other. She withdrew a candy bar, wrapped in the honey-brown wrapper of the Snavely company. The 5% chocolate, 50% sugar concoction hung from the tips of Libel’s fingers as she raised her hand, so that the bar swung lightly in Nellidae’s field of vision. The ladybird’s eyes followed the subtle, tempting movements of the wrapped treat. Her body grew hot and her eyes watered. Her mouth unhinged, letting loose her tongue. She gasped for breath and began to sweat.

“What do you think of daytime television, Nellidae?” Libel asked.

Nelllidae heard the words, but nothing registered in her mind except the candy bar. Back and forth it went, its small movements seeming to her eyes like dramatic sweeps and flourishes across a ball room awash in colored light.

Her mouth was already open, so nothing particularly impeded it from speaking, but nothing particularly aided its coherency. “Sugar give me the sugar please the sugar I want sugar delicious sugar~” was about all Nellidae could muster to say and she did not even know she was saying it. All she knew for certain is that every fiber of her being wanted that candy bar.

Libel pulled down her glasses and rubbed her eyes and forehead hard. She replaced the glasses and exhaled harshly. “Your greatest weakness is candy. That’s swell, it’s only the most common thing in Amera.”

“Excusez-moi madame, but perhaps it is the almost sexually suggestive way you are dangling the candy in front of her which is provoking this reaction?” Fleur said.

“I posit that maybe a large enough quantity of sweets, or alternatively a great deal of focus given to a single sweet which catches her attention, is what does this,” Libel replied. A gentle, almost dismissive little throw sent the candy bar right unto Nellidae’s hand, where its wrapper entered its final evolutionary state as million scraps flying in every direction. “The breakfast cereal did not turn her into a zombie, but this did. Maybe a whole candy store or a big advertisement might too.”

Fleur watched Nellidae ravaging the candy bar, with one hand over her own mouth and another clamping down on her dress and fidgeting with it. “Oui.”